Forgotten Items!

1.) COUNTDOWN : just not gonna happen

2.) DVDs : Anyone have Lost or Fringe on DVD?  I would LOVE either

3.) MUSICAL FOLK: I am planning my birthday night at the Ship – Saturday, March 30th – and need to come up with a line-up   I am also thinking this will mark the time when I am FINALLY starting to feel human again, so something dancey would be good !

4.) Top Five for getting cancer:  (in no particular order, and does not include the general awesomeness of all you fine folk – that is in a class of it’s own)

• FPA reunion gigs
• Being in town for Thomas Trio gigs
• Emma Brown visit!!!
• Feeling the love
• Quitting smoking (soon, oh so very soon)

soooo, basically I am not going to be myself for a while, and all the understanding, patience, and love in the world means a lot while I get through the hardest month(s) ahead.  I promise to be awesome again come… June by the latest

xoxoxoxoxoxox

 

Rants,forgiveness and the month ahead

Forgiveness – that is what I am going to no doubt require from those of you who have any dealings with me this month!  Here is a glimpse of what is in store for me between now and say mid-April, and after reading it I’m sure you will understand why I am most likely going to be certifiable by the end of it

Next few days: quit smoking, pretty much cold turkey as NRT is not supported by plastic surgeon.

Next 2 weeks: Quitting smoking combined with nasty chemo side-effects

Sometime early March: Have to switch my anti-depressants, and pray I take to the new one easily enough.  This while still recovering from side-effects, and of course, not smoking.

shortly there after : Start hormone therapy – tamoxifen – and no doubt have a bunch of menopausal symptoms to enjoy

Sometime in early April (as my best guess) : get my tits lopped off, and something new put in their place.  this will also require recovery time…

No doubt more weight gain over this time too!

So yeah, that’s me for end of February to sometime in April/May – gotta love it!

————————————————————————————————–

 

Tits up, Being Tiffany & Countdown Central

TITS UP!

I finally met with my plastic surgeon last week, and it made me realize I should have done more in-depth research a long time ago..oops! As with every other aspect of this journey, it is all about individual experiences and preferences – this definitely goes for decisions around mastectomy, and reconstruction options.  I thought there was really only two options for reconstruction – TRAM flap and implants – not the case at all.  My choices are still being made, I am deciding between implants and DIEP flap.  No matter what you choose, there are possible complications and future considerations for all options.  Below is a link I found super helpful as a starting point:

http://www.breastreconstruction.org/

I am hoping to have a double mastectomy with immediate reconstruction, and hopefully in April some time – yay!!  You cannot regain nipple sensation with this, so enjoy your tits as much as you can ladies, while you can   And for folks around town – if you see me rubbing my breasts a little in public – just deal with it, and frig depending on who you are, you can probably cop a feel at some point

BEING TIFFANY

For any other 30-something woman who feels like her life is… not quite going according to plan, or is in a general state of dissatisfaction, you should definitely check out CBC’s “Being Erica”.  It is available on netflix if you have that, and if not,  access it through CBCs website!  I have totally fallen in love with this show, and no doubt it is due to where I am in life.  while I am not “beautiful, healthy, and well-educated” like the lead character it , there are still a lot of lessons worth thinking about.   Doesn’t hurt that all the men that come and go out of Erica’s life and easy on the eyes too

http://www.cbc.ca/beingerica/

COUNTDOWN CENTRAL

As of tomorrow – Monday of my 5th treatment – I will be starting an official countdown to the end of chemo and the beginning of returning to health.  I will post SOMETHING daily, and hopefully it will be interesting/funny/insightful!  I have decided that I will be reformatting this whole blog thingy in March to make it more info laden and easy to navigate.  Some times you just need to wait for a little hindsight to better serve people

As I head into the worst month for this chemo crap, I have the end to look forward to!  While I am terrible at returning most messages, and love and thank you all for tolerating that ( ), I am going to need a lot of random love and smiles sent to me over the next 4 weeks.  Comments here are great, as it lets me know who is thinking about me, and same with facebook and emails.  This is going to be the most challenging  time for me in this whole process, and I have a lot of thinking to do about what’s next for me, my role in this work, blah, blah, blah, so yeah, I need your love and general awesomeness more now than ever

xoxoxoxox

Tiff

No Rhyme or Reason

Hey my faithful followers

Happy holidays to all of you!  Hopefully I will be seeing many of your beautiful faces over the coming weeks, but if not, know that I’m thinking of you.

so apparently there are a number of you who depend on this bloggy thingy to keep in-the-know, so I decided I should probably update some pages (diary and chemo), and just send out a general HELLO!!

For those of you in warmer climates, all I can say is that THE SNOW IS FALLING, THE SNOW IS FALLING!!  Why didn’t I pick up winter time activities as a child!?!? I don’t know what to do with the stuff, other than the odd snowball or snow angel… at a total loss really

I have also been terrible again about replying to messages – whether email, facebook, texts, phone, etc.  I’m sorry.  No excuse really, except that I am living in my head a lot these days.  Trying to focus on a plan of action / life direction for next year, as it is fast approaching, and I need to be a productive member of society again!  For my own mental sanity if nothing else   Anyone want to start a commune with me?!?  You think I’m joking but I’m not

Just throwing this out now, probably the worst timing, but I sense I will be fairly housebound for January and February – at least a good chunk of it – so would love people to bring me eats and play games with me   Or sing me songs, do a little jig, you know, wherever the day takes us! OH – and anyone who has DVDs they could lend me, that would be awesome too DOUBLE OHm- does anyone have a muffin pan they could lend to me for a while?  Okay, I will stop with the asking for things   I could go on and on and on! Not hard to tell I’m having “it’s all about me” day is it?

xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo

Not necessarily christmasy, and I am also apparently having a Beatles day, but here are the lyrics to Imagine… don’t know why, no rhyme or reason I suppose

IMAGINE

Imagine there’s no heaven
It’s easy if you try
No hell below us
above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the peolple
Living life in peace

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possession
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will live as one

Tiffany’s Kitchen Sink

A little bit of everything here folks – and absolutely none of it has to do with breast cancer!  Why?  Because, well, as a cancer patient, one gets sick and tired of thinking about / researching / feeling anything to do with it!  It is the rest of life that is far more interesting

UPCOMING EVENTS

For people in the St. John’s area, here are two events going on this weekend that I am ALL about:

Sherry Ryan “Sister of Mine” Album Release

Saturday, December 10th,  8pm – 10:30pm,  LSPU hall

Check out her music at: www.sherryryan.com/music

Sister of Mine, my third full-length album is ready to go! and we are celebrating with a concert at the LSPU Hall.

Sherry Ryan and the Enablers will perform all songs from ‘Sister of Mine’ with a guest appearance by Phil Sedore. Phil produced this album and did a wonderful job. He’ll be travelling from Halifax to join us!

There will also be performances by the very talented Sandy May (The Domestics), Peter Willie Youngtree, The Legendary Al Tuck and your host, Craig Ryan.

The Enablers:
Bryan Power, Mark Bragg, Dave Rowe, Chris Donnelly, John Clarke, Natasha Hartery, Ilia Nicoll and Billy Nicoll

Tickets are on sale now at the LSPU Hall. $17.50 Call the Hall at 753-4531 or purchase online at http://www.rca.nf.ca/events.aspx?id=79

Christmas in Bannerman Park

Sunday, December 11th,  3:30pm – 5:30pm,  Bannerman Park

All ages are invited to Bannerman Park on Sunday afternoon, Dec 11th. There will be hot chocolate, mulled apple juice, a short carol sing led by the Inclusion Choir, and some Christmas stories. As twilight comes we’ll take a walk on the streets around the park to see the stained glass windows and Christmas Lights.  This is a chance to try out your mummer’s costume as you get ready for the Mummer’s Parade the following weekend.

If you wish, Bring a food item for the Food Bank.

This event is organized by the Bannerman Park Foundation as part of the plans to rejuvenate the oldest public park in the province.

FUNDRAISING DRIVE FOR FRIENDS

Two of my favorite people, two very loving, supportive and generous to a fault friends, came home after the Saturday night fundraising gig for me, to find their home ablaze from a fire started next door.  While I’m relieved to say both of them, and the beautiful canine Hannah, are all safe and sound, nothing in the house escaped damage.  Here is a link to a fundraising initiative set up for them to help cover some of the costs:

<iframe src=”http://www.indiegogo.com/project/widget/53673″ width=”210px” height=”400px” frameborder=”1″ scrolling=”no”>

 

 

 

 

 

OKAY, ONE BREAST CANCER RELATED THINGY

I keep forgetting to share this.  A friend of mine passed along this blog to me, and it is fantastic!!!  Super positive, but without being annoyingly so

http://perksofcancer.wordpress.com/

That’s it from me for now… no doubt there will be more soon

Weekend pics and video clips

Me and some of my favorite ladies!

Hopefully there will be more to come!  I would love to be able to post some great crowd shots, along with Persona, Lizband and Black Bags videos! For anyone on Facebook, these are pretty much the same as what is already up – this is more so for those of you not in “facebook world”   I am still rocking out a little in my head as I type this!

My beauties - and my bald head!

The boys rockin' it!! Photo courtesy of the Beautiful EM Madden

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Amazingness Photo courtesy of EM Madden

The talented and lovely Ian Vardy took some great snaps from both nights – check out his work:

http://www.ianvardy.com/sinjawns/fur-packed-action-and-persona-a-benefit-for-tiffany-martin-n/

http://www.ianvardy.com/sinjawns/fur-packed-action-black-bags-persona-a-benefit-for-tiffany-m/

And here are some video clips of FPA:

 

 

Christmas came early!

Well now, where does one even begin after such a brilliant weekend?!?  I have so much I want to say to so many people, but will leave that to personal exchanges over the coming weeks.  What I can say, is what a freaking party for everyone!  I saw more smiles and sweaty dancing bodies this weekend than I can remember in a long time.  Thanks to the following folks for giving so many folks the best Christmas present EVER:

Mike, Elliot, Mark and Chuck of Persona; Liz, Marcel, Mike and Brian for Lizband and The Black Bags; Geoff, Jody and Barry of Fur Packed Action; Meghan Fahey for being the organizer extraordinaire; Alex for the killer posters; Worthman for his creative vision; Andrea, Tony and all the staff at The Rockhouse; and the whole freaking community!

For two nights… well one really, as my body took a couple of days to forgive me for Friday nights shenanigans, I decided to treat my soul to some loving as we all know that is as – if not more so – important as healing the body!  Persona were such a rockin’ good time… Lizband were as magical to me as the first time I ever heard them play… Black Bags – I forgot Marcel sang, and it was a huge treat to hear his sweet voice!; Fur Packed Action… where does one even begin?!?  I think most of us still play that album on a regular basis, as was apparent by how EVERYONE remembered the lyrics… The general atmosphere was just electric with happiness and positivity – sure, I would guess that with that much positive energy in one place, there probably isn’t a cancer cell still alive in my body;)

I am going for round 2 of chemo tomorrow, so I will probably be out of touch for a week or so, but the energy from this weekend will carry me through the few shitty days, until I feel normal again in a week or so

Also – I just wanna say – as part of the motivation for writing this blog is to hopefully take some of the fear out of this experience for others as they face similar battles – anyone in this town who ever finds themselves wanting to chat with someone who has had this experience – I am here for you!  Cancer in one form or another, affects most people either directly or indirectly at some point (or unfortunately at multiple points) in their lives, and by talking openly and honestly with each other, hopefully we can make that experience a little less scary!

As soon as I get a chance, and more pics & video become available, I will post them here   I am hoping someone took crowd shots, as I was just ecstatic watching all the happy faces and dancing bodies this weekend

These are a few of my favorite things

Looks in mirror.  Tugs on hair.   Nope, no strays yet.  Stares at new moon face.  Ponders.  What changes are coming?  What will I look/feel like in six months?  Maybe it’s time I try and have a rum and coke.  Wow – that doesn’t taste right at all!  New leaf turning perhaps.

Cut to next morning.  Stretches and scratches head.  Damn.  The hairs have started falling.  Mental note – buy hats and scarves this week.

Thank you St. John’s.  Most of my favorite things exist within your boundaries.  This past week has been full of general awesomeness, and a tranquil Saturday night is the perfect time to reflect. the following list is in no particular order of preference

1. The outdoors, and particularly the smells of autumn in the air. Wonderful walks at Kents and Long Pond this week.  Sometimes I just want to bury my face into the earth, it smells so freakin’ good!
2. Live Music and general creative energy.  This is the thing I try hardest to explain to friends from away, and never seem to be able to capture the specialness of this place and people fully.
3. Chocolate and my taste buds for leaving me at least one comfort food to enjoy
4. Big Bang Theory – I forgot how much I love my geeks   A little humour goes a long way
5. Friends and good acquaintances. Near and far.  This pic is one of people I am missing…

Family

PS – There are still tickets left at Fred’s for the Saturday night FPA gig – one week to go!

 

 

How do you like your action?!?!

How have I not posted this yet!?!?!  For you folks out there who couldn’t get tickets for the Friday, November 25th show, there is now a second night of dancin’ and singing your friggin’ hearts out scheduled  for the following night!

The line up changes a little with Black Bags playing on the Saturday night in place of Lizband.

Tickets are $ 20 and available at Fred’s Records (not the Ship)

Epic thanks and love and all things good go out to Meghan Fahey for taking it upon herself to organize this for me – Alex Pierson for the fantabulous poster design (I love it) – the musicians who have enriched my life on so many different levels over the years, and who have kindly donated their talents for the weekend – and to the community as a whole for being supportive, understanding, and non-judgmental, as I work my way through this chapter in my life.

Now some wonderful folk have asked about how they can donate if they are unable to attend.  I am torn as to how to reply to this.  My grandmother told me that it is in fact as gracious to receive as it is to give, but I think most of us have difficulty feeling worthy… of such significant acts of generosity.  So, with her guidance in mind, and my honestly not knowing what life really has in store for me over the next year, I am open to email transfers.  Just contact me here and I can get you my email address to you   But really, your love and concern provides me with so much positivity and comfort, and with the benefit being such a huge success, it is important that you know I am going to be okay.

For my friends who are not Newfoundlanders, I have no doubt gone on and on about how much I love my home, and the ridiculous amount talent that thrives here.  This event is just one of countless examples of why this place will always be home.

xoxoxoxoxox

The Long and Short of it

apologies for taking so long between posts – being back in St. John’s has kept me pretty freaking busy…. that and I have been doing a crazy amount of thinking or doing things to avoid thinking… you all know what that’s like.

Sooo – thanks go out to two awesome ladies – Andrea Squires, for pretty much everything all the time,  and McKenzie (sp?) for kindly cutting my hair this evening, and making it not too traumatic

Funny how things like losing your hair can hold so much meaning for people.  I have been pretty indifferent about the idea, all the way up to the moment before it actually happened!

People also say that…longer hair on larger women tends to me less flattering, but it is kinda like a security blanket for me, and softens my face for sure.  anyways, blah-de-blah-de-blah, it’s all done now, and I feel pretty okay with it